December 24, 2011

Mr Cosby

When I left my sister was 11. I come home 4 months later and she has a Justin Bieber collage on her wall... I'm still trying to process it all.

But that's not what this post is about. Let's talk about Cosby, the cutest of all the cutest dogs. He's going to live until I'm 40 because I have a talent for guessing these sorts of things.

December 21, 2011

Finally Christmas!

(Alternate title: Where Are You Christmas?)
(Alternate title 2: I'll Be Home for Christmas.)
(Alternate title 3: Please Have Snow... and Mistletoe?) 

Up until a few days ago I was not convinced that it was actually December.  The Christmas decorations in the city are a sight, but it still didn't feel like Christmas.  It's probably because my days are full of Hanukkah and empty of snow.  (Seriously. Where's the snow?) Not to mention no one on my street has Christmas lights, which means no Christmas tree either.  So I did what I do best!  I scoured the internet to find some Christmas, and on Sunday night I ventured into Harlem!

part 2 of the children's choir...

I wanted some good ol' fashioned New York Christmas spirit, and The Riverside Church did not disappoint!  You can find anything and anyone here.  It's what I love most about NYC. 

That being said... no one does Christmas like home! Three hip hip hurray's for Utah! And mountains! And I'll be there... tonight! 

p.s. This is a cute song. 

December 10, 2011

random bolding and the Brooklyn Flea

Collection is really just a fancy word for selective hoardingI like my food bland and I don't currently have a kitchen to clutter, but when I see a really great set of salt & pepper shakers I need it for my collection (the one that is currently inside a box inside a bigger box inside my parent's garage).  Someday they will have a place in my eclectic kitchen. Dinner guests will be heard saying Oh my, what an amazing and not-at-all-crazy collection you have. If only I had thought to start such a collection years ago... That's when I'll know I've made it.

Okay, but seriously you guys - seriously. LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND.

Oh, by gosh, by golly! Have you ever in your life seen 3 such perfectly perfect salt & pepper sets?... You're lying if you say yes. You guys, it's a miniature electric mixer that dispenses salt and pepper! You guys! The toast pops out! I'm so freaking excited. They're straight from 1960, but more recently straight from the Brooklyn Flea market...

They just don't make buildings like this anymore!  Damn them... today's building makers (you know who you are).

Those 3 gems weren't the only good purchase I made that day.  All the way from 1992, I present to you...

Oh "Zack", nothing compares to the coiffe of your hair. Nothing. 

December 6, 2011

I will never.

1. I will never run a marathon.

It's never going to happen, people. I've come to terms with it.

2. I will never steal your iPhone... or your wallet... I won't steal anything from you that costs more than $2.

What kind a person sees another person's iPhone and says "Oh goody! I'll take that!" - a heartless person, that's who.

3. I will never care about BYU Football.


4. I will never allow the head of a dead animal to be mounted on my wall.

Never ever.

5. I will never own a cat.

Unless it's Taylor Swifts cat's.

6. I will never kidnap Taylor Swift's cat.

But I'm not making any promises.

7. I will never commit to blonde.

I like it, but... I get bored. Plus, red hair is AWESOME.

8. I will never be that person who shaves her legs every day.

What kind of life is that?

9. I will never spell my child's name any way other than the most common way.

It's that simple. Just like spelling should be.

10. I will never say never, nevah, nevah...

Thanks, JB.

November 16, 2011

yes to cities

I'm a city lover!  It's true - I love them and they love me. Woodsy vacations tend to make me irritable and... sluggish? But cities?! Oh, the bustle! (It feels wrong to exclude hustle...) Culture is where it's at!

Long Island is nice enough, but by the time Friday rolls around Francis and I are ready for some city! That's my car - and yeah, we drive all around like it's nobody's business cuz we tuff like that... yo. This past weekend was a little hilarious and a lot awesome, but first things first - city pictures!

View from the bosses office by day...
And by night.
Fall. FALL. FALL!!!

Sat: I successfully parked Francis and subwayed on down to Brooklyn, where I met up with some great people who invite me to great things like historical walking tours.  This particular tour came with a complimentary meat pie, so yeah... that was pretty great as well (I love meat pie). A lot of greatness going on, basically.
After our tour we went to dinner at Scarpetta. This is the only picture I got (calamari fries!) because no one wants to feel like a tourist, and I feel like a fatso tourist when I take pictures of food in classy, dimly lit restaurants. I'm being completely serious when I say - food that good has never before been anywhere near my mouth.  I went into shock for awhile because the pumpkin pasta was too much for my inexperienced palette to handle. This next part was a true *November-day miracle: my friend's boss is the owner/chef (also, a judge on Chopped!), so everything was "complements of the chef!" I have always wanted to hear those words. November is amazing.

But wait, there's more! Then I went to THIS for a little while, which is funny because I don't know any of those people.  But I've read Nat's blog for a few years and she invited NYC readers, so I said to myself "yes!" Saying yes is something I do in November and it leads to cool things.  I'm starting to wonder why I save all my cool "yes" experiences for November...

This is me wondering how it's possible
that this is the 3rd longest escalator I've
ever escalated and yet NYC can't seem to
put stadium seating in their theaters.
How those two things are connected
I don't know, but it upsets me greatly.
As I drove past Lincoln Square on my way home I noticed an empty parking spot smack dab in front of the movie theater. (Street parking, people! It never happens!) I took that as a sign that I should say yes to a 10:20 movie.

And that's what yes can do in one day.

If you live in a city.

Juuust jokes, November-day miracles have no boundaries! But I prefer city miracles... just saying.

(The meat pie totally counts as a miracle.)

*November-day miracles defined:
Daily miracles that come to those who seek them. They are big or small, or whatever you want them to be. The big things tend to happen when you say yes to new things, and November always brings a lot of opportunities to say YES. Yes!

September 10, 2011

A few things I've learned about New York

(Alternately titled "I have a lot to learn about New York")

1.  A status update from today: "Apparently gas stations in New York offer only car related things and services like oil changes, etc. So I walk in and scream WHAT IS THIS PLACE?! ALL I WANT IS A DIET DR PEPPER ON ICE!"  What this means for me is that I can no longer use getting gas as an excuse for a fountain drink.  (I would fill my car with gasoline and at the same time fill myself with carbonated poison!  It was poetic, really.) I can get my hands on a Big Gulp at the gasless 7-ELEVEN in town, but then I'd be making a trip solely for a fountain drink and/or to get mugged... as you can see, it's a very difficult time in my life.

2. Long Island has 7,568,304 people and 10 Walmarts.  Utah County has 516,564 people and 8 Walmarts.  EXPLAIN THIS.

3. I should never go back to a NY Walmart unless I want to get an STD and/or mugged.

4.  The candy selection sucks everywhere.  The candy "aisle" usually consists of 2 bags of Skittles and a half-eaten box of Jujyfruits.   I mean, come onnn, what are these people addicted to?! Drugs?!... that makes sense, actually.  If I don't get my hands on a box of Wonka Bottle Caps and an icy Diet DP soon I'm turning to crack.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.  I'm going to bed.

Before I go, I should tell you that it's my birthday. If you didn't send me anything your guilt is eating you alive right now. So go fill a box with Bottle Caps and send it my way.  I might forgive you for neglecting me if it's here by next Wednesday... might.

September 5, 2011

Vivian Maier

Meet "street photographer" Vivian Maier.

You really should read her story
These particular photos are from early 1950's, New York  City.

I love these for the same reason I hate looking through boxes of old postcards at antique stores (if you've never done that, you should).  It reminds me of how elusive time really is, and how little we have of it. To put it bluntly, it freaks me right out.


Every old photo of young people who never really believed they'd get old, but they still did.  And those trivial things they thought mattered so much - it turns out they never mattered at all.  (Let's all take a moment to think of what a phonetically weird world mattered is.  I mean, really.)

Fifty years sounds like a long time. It's not. Think of how fast this past year went by, times that by 50, and before you know it you're in 1961. We're not different or more special than these people, even if sometimes we like to think we are.  

Lucky for us we have iPhones, which make it a heck of a lot easier to find the best pizza in a 5-mile radius without having to talk to a stranger when you're in a hurry. But we also have to put up with Lady Gaga, so... I think they've got us beat.

You know what else?  I need to buy a nice camera while I'm here in The Big Apple. I want to capture some 2011 street people.

July 8, 2011


1. SPF 50 is my new best friend.  Pasty is the new tan.  (But really.)

2. I miss blogging.

3. I've been watching an abnormal amount of 9/11 conspiracy and Holocaust documentaries lately.  If I could stop, I would.

4. I'm selling everything I own.  Come to my yard sale?

5. Trust me, you don't want to talk to me about those Transformers movies.

6. I'm moving to New York!... it's in writing now.  On a blog.  So, it's like... official.

7. The fact that I'm awake right now really pisses me off.

May 25, 2011

I come out of the woodwork when there's something I feel passionately about.  And today all the passion I can muster is directed towards Scotty McCreery not winning American Idol.   Please no.

His name is one letter away from Scott McCreepy.  Does no one else find this alarming?

Also, this:
That's not okay, America.

It should come as no surprise that my votes have been for Lauren Alaina since the beginning.  I can't be sure, but it's probably because deep down in my innards I'm a sometimes awkward, sometimes obnoxious 17 year-old pop star.  So, you know, I can relate.   Plus, that girl can sing it with the best of them.  Scotty can sing it with himself.  Case closed.

The internet has crowned him the winner already. Why all the Scotty love?  I don't get it.  I don't get "kid history" either (it's what i like to call the opposite of funny), so obviously I have no idea what's going on in the minds of middle-class Americans these days.   Scotty it is.

Here's the best part: of the 5 who know about this blog, none of you watch American Idol... so yeah... you're welcome.   Pointless post?  Check!