1. I will never run a marathon.
It's never going to happen, people. I've come to terms with it.
2. I will never steal your iPhone... or your wallet... I won't steal anything from you that costs more than $2.
What kind a person sees another person's iPhone and says "Oh goody! I'll take that!" - a heartless person, that's who.
3. I will never care about BYU Football.
4. I will never allow the head of a dead animal to be mounted on my wall.
5. I will never own a cat.
Unless it's Taylor Swifts cat's.
6. I will never kidnap Taylor Swift's cat.
But I'm not making any promises.
7. I will never commit to blonde.
I like it, but... I get bored. Plus, red hair is AWESOME.
8. I will never be that person who shaves her legs every day.
What kind of life is that?
9. I will never spell my child's name any way other than the most common way.
It's that simple. Just like spelling should be.
10. I will never say never, nevah, nevah...