December 6, 2011

I will never.

1. I will never run a marathon.

It's never going to happen, people. I've come to terms with it.

2. I will never steal your iPhone... or your wallet... I won't steal anything from you that costs more than $2.

What kind a person sees another person's iPhone and says "Oh goody! I'll take that!" - a heartless person, that's who.

3. I will never care about BYU Football.


4. I will never allow the head of a dead animal to be mounted on my wall.

Never ever.

5. I will never own a cat.

Unless it's Taylor Swifts cat's.

6. I will never kidnap Taylor Swift's cat.

But I'm not making any promises.

7. I will never commit to blonde.

I like it, but... I get bored. Plus, red hair is AWESOME.

8. I will never be that person who shaves her legs every day.

What kind of life is that?

9. I will never spell my child's name any way other than the most common way.

It's that simple. Just like spelling should be.

10. I will never say never, nevah, nevah...

Thanks, JB.


  1. Amen on the name thing. I don't know what those people are thinking. Evah.

  2. Love. And I agree with most of these things. Most, not all.

  3. Just because you'll never run a marathon doesn't mean you can't say you're training for a marathon (I'm looking at you weird girl in our institute class who always talked about the triathlon she was training for).

  4. #7 reminds me an awful lot of Russia.