May 18, 2012

Careers I'm Considering

Ride my bike across the country
That's a job. Somewhere there is someone who would pay me to do that.

Makeup artist
I really think I'd love it. I might hate it though.

Read beat poetry in coffee shops
I've never done this, but I'd happily do it for at least a year if it involves cash. Does it?

Dog trainer
Think Dog Whisperer, only there would be a whole lot of yelling involved.

Own a family-run dog kennel
Think The Lucky One, only Zac Efron would [most likely] not be there.

Purse purchaser
I have a gift for knowing which purse you should buy and which purse you should never buy, like that one from Chinatown that looks like it cost $5 because you paid $5 for it.

Cat photographer to the stars
The "to the stars" part is how I plan to make my bajillions.

Private investigator
I'm nosey, I know how to use the Internet, I have a really good sense of direction, and I blend in. Enough said.

NYC Taxi driver
I'm telling you, I would excel in this field if I were a middle-aged Indian man.

Documentary film maker
I like watching them. My qualifications end there.

Film critic
Watch movies + be cynical. I can do that! I know I can!

Fiddle player
T Swift's fiddle player.

Open a hostel in Eastern Europe. Call it Easy Breezy Backpacker's Plantation Hostelry
Con: All the STD's I'd contract just from breathing that air.
Pro: All the money I'd save on bras and deodorant.
Con: Even if you put your name all over it, strangers will still eat your leftovers.
Pro: My Twitter bio would read "CEO at Easy Breezy Backpackers Plantation Hostelry. Word to your mother."

Offical ice cream taster
This guy is going to die eventually. All I need is a "dairy degree" and that spoon made of gold will be miiiine.

I use the word "careers" loosely.