Ride my bike across the country
That's a job. Somewhere there is someone who would pay me to do that.
I really think I'd love it. I might hate it though.
Read beat poetry in coffee shops
I've never done this, but I'd happily do it for at least a year if it involves cash. Does it?
Think Dog Whisperer, only there would be a whole lot of yelling involved.
Own a family-run dog kennel
Think The Lucky One, only Zac Efron would [most likely] not be there.
I have a gift for knowing which purse you should buy and which purse you should never buy, like that one from Chinatown that looks like it cost $5 because you paid $5 for it.
Cat photographer to the stars
The "to the stars" part is how I plan to make my bajillions.
I'm nosey, I know how to use the Internet, I have a really good sense of direction, and I blend in. Enough said.
NYC Taxi driver
I'm telling you, I would excel in this field if I were a middle-aged Indian man.
Documentary film maker
I like watching them. My qualifications end there.
Watch movies + be cynical. I can do that! I know I can!
T Swift's fiddle player.
Open a hostel in Eastern Europe. Call it Easy Breezy Backpacker's Plantation Hostelry
Con: All the STD's I'd contract just from breathing that air.
Pro: All the money I'd save on bras and deodorant.
Con: Even if you put your name all over it, strangers will still eat your leftovers.
Pro: My Twitter bio would read "CEO at Easy Breezy Backpackers Plantation Hostelry. Word to your mother."
Offical ice cream taster
This guy is going to die eventually. All I need is a "dairy degree" and that spoon made of gold will be miiiine.
I use the word "careers" loosely.