May 18, 2012

Careers I'm Considering

Ride my bike across the country
That's a job. Somewhere there is someone who would pay me to do that.

Makeup artist
I really think I'd love it. I might hate it though.

Read beat poetry in coffee shops
I've never done this, but I'd happily do it for at least a year if it involves cash. Does it?

Dog trainer
Think Dog Whisperer, only there would be a whole lot of yelling involved.

Own a family-run dog kennel
Think The Lucky One, only Zac Efron would [most likely] not be there.

Purse purchaser
I have a gift for knowing which purse you should buy and which purse you should never buy, like that one from Chinatown that looks like it cost $5 because you paid $5 for it.

Cat photographer to the stars
The "to the stars" part is how I plan to make my bajillions.

Private investigator
I'm nosey, I know how to use the Internet, I have a really good sense of direction, and I blend in. Enough said.

NYC Taxi driver
I'm telling you, I would excel in this field if I were a middle-aged Indian man.

Documentary film maker
I like watching them. My qualifications end there.

Film critic
Watch movies + be cynical. I can do that! I know I can!

Fiddle player
T Swift's fiddle player.

Open a hostel in Eastern Europe. Call it Easy Breezy Backpacker's Plantation Hostelry
Con: All the STD's I'd contract just from breathing that air.
Pro: All the money I'd save on bras and deodorant.
Con: Even if you put your name all over it, strangers will still eat your leftovers.
Pro: My Twitter bio would read "CEO at Easy Breezy Backpackers Plantation Hostelry. Word to your mother."

Offical ice cream taster
This guy is going to die eventually. All I need is a "dairy degree" and that spoon made of gold will be miiiine.

I use the word "careers" loosely.


  1. Besides the small part where your sick obsession with Zac Efron showed through and made me feel insecure about whether real relationships mean anything to you, I really laughed at this post. I vote documentary film maker.

    1. Liz, going through old blog posts and this comment had me lol. Again.

  2. I loved Liz' comment so much. And I don't know why I was laughing as I read this... All of those are feasible options if only you would BELIEVE!!

  3. is it sad that i have yet to see The Lucky One.

    my vote would be for the cat photographer to the stars... think of how rich that could get you? also, all the creepy cats (and owners) you'd encounter. you'd have enough stories to blog about for a life time!

    if that doesn't pan out i'm thinking movie critique.