June 22, 2012

30 things not to do before I'm 30

I don't want to freak you guys out or anything, but in 10 years I'll be 3 years away from preparing to turn 40 (FORTY), so basically my geriatric years aren't that far away at all because 10 years ago I was 16 and now here I am, 26, even though sometimes I still feel like I'm 16 until I realize I'm not... not even close. I'm practically 40.  I want to make the most of the 3.3 years I have left as a twenty-something, and nothing makes people feel better about impending birthdays like crazed goal setting! I've made ambitious to-do lists before and while fun to read, they never come to fruition... to much doing and not enough not doing. That's really where I shine. 

I'm so excited to not do all of these things. 

  • Swim with whale sharks
  • Swim with any kind of shark 
  • Run a marathon 
  • Sing in public
  • Visit Las Vegas
  • Gut a fish
  • Learn how to pole dance 
  • Give up caffeine
  • Pee on my leg (aka camping)
  • Participate in a flash mob
  • Live without my iPhone
  • Have anything to do with a maternity photo shoot
  • Post 3D ultrasound pictures on Facebook
  • Give a stranger my number 
  • Care about making my bed
  • Care about winning a game of miniature golf
  • Become a Reality TV star
  • Ride a mechanical bull
  • Watch any of the Transformer movies
  • Spend NYE in Times Square
  • Master fencing
  • Get into Harvard
  • Learn to yodel
  • Two words: Fantasy football
  • Three words: Matching couple tattoos
  • Sail around the world in 80 days
  • Drink a gallon of milk in under an hour
  • Be the inspiration for a Taylor Swift song
  • Shave my head 
  • Contract a terminal disease

I'm right on track to not accomplish any of this! It feels good. Bring it on, 30! 


  1. I love you. NYE in Times Square is seriously my worst nightmare. I think that every year as I'm watching that damn expensive ball drop.

    I hate 3D ultrasound pictures. I told that to the guy doing my last ultrasound (who also happens to be in our bishopric), and he said, well maybe we can get you some that aren't so "creepy." Yeah, he didn't really succeed. They are still up on my fridge though.

    Have you never been to Vegas? Personally I just don't get it. If you're LDS there really isn't much of a point as far as I can tell.

    I don't think you should rule out pole dancing.

    1. Maka went last NYE and stood in the same spot for 10 hours. The guy next to her peed in his coke bottle... Need I say more?
      Thank you for not sharing those with me on FB.
      I have been to Vegas 8 too many times, and I'd like to not go back... ever.

  2. Fencing, reality tv star, inspiration for t-swift....you're really ruling out what could have been a bright future. Don't resist the ways your life might take you!

    1. I'm not going to pursue any of those, but that's not saying they won't happen ;) Sometimes I'm just in the wrong place at the wrong time, ya know?

  3. You are making me feel claustrophobic with my age after all your logical talk. I think I might as well start digging my grave now. And I think your non-existent maternity pictures will still be fun to make fun of.

    1. Exactly 10 years ago we were probably together, riding in Muffy and blasting O-Town. 10 years goes by fast.

  4. I don't know you, but my email just informed me that you commented on my blog and I investigated. This is hilarious. And terrifying, because apparently I'm almost 40 too.

  5. "Pee on my leg (aka camping)" too perfect for words hahaha (well.. maybe not cuz you used words.. uhh... what?)