(Alternately titled "I have a lot to learn about New York")
1. A status update from today: "Apparently gas stations in New York offer only car related things and services like oil changes, etc. So I walk in and scream WHAT IS THIS PLACE?! ALL I WANT IS A DIET DR PEPPER ON ICE!" What this means for me is that I can no longer use getting gas as an excuse for a fountain drink. (I would fill my car with gasoline and at the same time fill myself with carbonated poison! It was poetic, really.) I can get my hands on a Big Gulp at the gasless 7-ELEVEN in town, but then I'd be making a trip solely for a fountain drink and/or to get mugged... as you can see, it's a very difficult time in my life.
2. Long Island has 7,568,304 people and 10 Walmarts. Utah County has 516,564 people and 8 Walmarts. EXPLAIN THIS.
3. I should never go back to a NY Walmart unless I want to get an STD and/or mugged.
4. The candy selection sucks everywhere. The candy "aisle" usually consists of 2 bags of Skittles and a half-eaten box of Jujyfruits. I mean, come onnn, what are these people addicted to?! Drugs?!... that makes sense, actually. If I don't get my hands on a box of Wonka Bottle Caps and an icy Diet DP soon I'm turning to crack.
I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm going to bed.
Before I go, I should tell you that it's my birthday. If you didn't send me anything your guilt is eating you alive right now. So go fill a box with Bottle Caps and send it my way. I might forgive you for neglecting me if it's here by next Wednesday... might.